The Gentle Path From Fear to Safety

My primitive brain is having less power over me now. It’s having less power over my rational/adult brain. So finally, after all these years, my inner child is starting to relax and I am starting to get more space in my life. My rational brain is getting more space. I’m not being duped as much by my fear brain into believing that things that are safe are dangerous.

My inner child is beginning to realize that there is no danger now. She became hypervigilant as a child because she did not feel safe. Her brain was wired into fear-based thinking, and it wasn’t her fault. Her brain understandably became stuck in fight/flight/freeze/fawn mode and she started to see the world through a lens of danger. Instead of seeing that some things were safe and some things were dangerous, she began seeing a lot of things that were safe as dangerous.

Her brain did this to help her. To keep her safe.

Because she felt unsafe she tried to control her world to make things safe. She chased safety. She thought that if she tried to be perfect and make as few mistakes as possible, she would be safe. She worked hard to be good so that no one would get mad and leave her. The people she loved would be happier. She held in her feelings so as not to upset her loved ones. She never learned how to feel her whole experience of life.

The thing you fear most has no power. Your fear of it is what has the power. Facing the truth really will set you free.”-Oprah Winfrey

She did what it took to make others happy at the cost of getting her own wants and needs met. This kept her safe.

This was a lot of pressure. These behaviors kept her brain hypervigilant. She stayed in fight/flight/freeze/fawn mode in order to feel safe. She had to be on alert all the time. Her primitive brain started to interpret safe sensations in her body as dangerous to keep her even more safe from the world. She started to feel pain in her body but there was no injury. This made her even more afraid and most of her life was spent trying to fix the pain even though there was nothing to fix.

Now that she understands how all this took place, she is starting to heal. She is starting to go easier on herself and is taking the pressure off. She’s learning the truth about what is safe and what is dangerous. She is able to notice that the fear brain thinks there is a danger when she is actually safe. She now knows that most of the time she is safe.

She’s learning it’s safe to make mistakes and do less than her best. It might be uncomfortable, but it’s not dangerous. She can go through hard times in life and know that they are a normal part of being human, but they are not dangerous. No need to stay in fight/flight/freeze/fawn mode. She’s safe.

She’s learning to feel her feelings and know that there is room for all of them in this world. She now knows that emotions are safe. She can feel them and let them pass. She knows that there is discomfort in life, but discomfort isn’t dangerous. She can sit with discomfort now and know it’s safe.

She’s learning that her wants and needs are important. She’s learning to have love and compassion for herself. She’s learning to let go of things she can’t control. Her inner child is relaxing. Her adult brain is now taking over for the inner child.

My inner child can rest because she finally knows she’s safe.

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